best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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