It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
