He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
