Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize