they need to just BURY HIM!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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