I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
