just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
