So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
