Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
