why didn't you poke me back
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
