i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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