I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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