You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
