just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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