We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
