I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize