I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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