I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
