New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
