you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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