i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
