well I can't set my house on fire every night
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
