i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize