I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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