i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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