There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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