the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize