I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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