I must be too annoying 4 u.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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