Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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