The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
