NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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