Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
