so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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