I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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