so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
