More tranny stories later!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
