Porn is love you can see.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
