I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
