wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
