he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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