we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
