sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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