Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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