he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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