I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
