The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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