She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
