If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
