hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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