omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
