Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
