and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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