Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
