mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
