Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
