Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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