Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
