she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
