so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
