uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
handjob tips. give me some.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
