you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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