so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
