It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
