evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
