No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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