anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
