I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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