Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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