Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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